Characteristics of a Batterer
The following list points out some
of the typical characteristics of a potential batterer. If your husband
or boyfriend fits most of the descriptions below, it does not necessarily
mean that he is, or will become, a batterer. But it suggests that he may.
- Does he "just" slap you?
Has he beaten you up "only" 3 or 4 times?
- Does he call you derogatory names
and analyze your personality in a belittling manner?
- After he abused you, does he then
suffer intense feelings of guilt and remorse, apologizes profusely,
and overwhelms you with gifts and promises to never again make you suffer?
- Is he extremely possessive, jealous
of your involvements and relationships outside of your marriage? Does
he phone you several times a day just to "check" on you and
expects you to make him the center of your life?
- Does he become furious when you
do not obey him, or sometimes, for no reason at all? Is he constantly
finding fault with the way you dress, act in public, or show him love?
Does he often accuse you of infidelity?
- Was he emotionally and/or physically
abused as a child?
- Did his father beat his mother?
- Does he abuse alcohol, drugs, or
other mood-altering substances?
- Does he destroy property or hurt
- Is he angry at life in general?
Does he feel cheated by society, his parents, his co-workers?
- Was he ever the victim of trauma,
such as combat, multiple car accidents, or child sexual assault, for
which he has not received professional help?
- Does he hold traditional ideas
about male and female roles and adhere to these ideas inflexibly?
- Is there any possibility that
you might be a battered woman? Even if you only slightly suspect
that this might be the case, seek help as soon as possible.