TWENTY "FACTS" ABOUT DIVORCE*
- Divorce is always painful for children, no matter how old they are.
- Divorce does not end the relationship between your spouse, it just changes
the rules of the relationship.
- You are not the only parent going through divorce.
- You do not have to hate your spouse to get divorced.
- The divorce takes place psychologically for children on the day of the
- Two people living apart cannot live as cheaply as two people living
- Two people living apart cannot see their children as often as two people
- Divorcing parents generally are upset by any extra time the other parent may
have with the children.
- Courts do not want to place children with a parent who is systematically
trying to destroy the other parent.
- Never ask a child to decide who he r she wants to live with.
- You should be willing to do whatever you want your spouse (or ex-spouse) to
- Unhappy parents cannot raise happy children.
- Child support payments are intended to support your children, not to serve
as extra spending money for your ex-spouse.
- When parents live apart, children have more opportunities to manipulate
- It is hard when children cannot spend time with someone they love.
- A parent should not become a "friend" for their child(ren) and a child
should not become a parent or a "friend" to their parent(s).
- The more consistency parents provide in their children's lives, the
healthier the children's adjustment will be.
- The more flexibility a parent has regarding placement and visitation
arrangements, the more comfortable children are likely to be.
- Divorce is a process, not an event.
- WINNING IS NEVER MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WELL-BEING OF YOUR CHILDREN.
*These "facts" are based upon the following book: Ackerman, Marc (1997).
Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's? Parenting Together While Living Apart.