Recommended Books to Read

Some of these books can be purchased from Friends of the Court, Inc. For information, call (208) 384-0977.

Pre-schoolers:

The Dinosaur's Divorce by Laureen K. Brown & Marc Brown; Little Brown, 1986

Children of all ages enjoy this book. Reassures children about why parents divorce, what happens to children, having two homes, celebrating holidays and special occasions, telling their friends, and living with or having stepparents, stepsisters, and stepbrothers. Children may want to have it read to them over and over -- highly recommended.

Divorce is a Grown up Problem by Janet Sinberg; Avon Publishers, 1978

A lap book for children of all ages; uses warm, friendly illustrations to show and tell your child it isn't his/her fault, you still love him/her, healthy ways which anger can be channeled, and he/she is still safe and secure because the parents are in firm control of his/her world -- highly recommended.

School-aged Children:

At Daddy's on Saturdays by Linda W. Girard; Albert Whitman & Co., 1987

Katie's daddy moves out when he and her mommy get divorced. Katie is angry, sad, and very afraid her daddy will never come back. Katie comes to understand that even though her parents can't live together anymore, they both still love her and will always be her mommy and her daddy. Reassuring.

 

Break-up by Gianni Padoan; Childs Play, 1987

When Joe's dad leaves home, it is the worst day of his life. As he realizes both his parents still love him, he is more able to adjust to the new reality.

The Dinosaur's Divorce by Laureen K. Brown & Marc Brown; Little Brown, 1986

See above summary.

Divorce Is a Grown up Problem by Janet Sinberg; Avon Publishers, 1978

See above summary.

Mom & Dad Don't Live Together Anymore by Kathy Stinson; Annick Press, 1985

Two Homes to Live In: A Child's-Eye View of Divorce by Barbara S. Hazen; Human Sciences, 1978

Written from the child's viewpoint. Encourages communication between parent and child; shows while divorce is a painful time, life becomes stable again and the child did not cause the divorce.

 

What's Going to Happen to Me? by Edna LeShan; Aladdin Books, 1978

Most kids are taken by surprise by divorce no matter how long they've known their parents have been unhappy. Some kids feel relieved to imagine the fighting will end, others feel guilty thinking they are to blame. Simple and direct suggestions for positive ways of coping with children.

Pre-teens & Teen-agers:

The Divorce Express by Paula Danziger; Laurel Leaf Books, 1982

Ninth-grader Phoebe must deal with her split-down-the-middle life-style. She shuttles back and forth from her weekdays with Dad to her weekends with Mom. Fiction. Recommended.

 

How it Feels When Parents Divorce by Jill Krementz; Knopf Publishing, 1988

Boys and girls, ages 7 to 16 share their experience and feelings about their parents' divorce. Older children learn their own feelings of shock, anger, confusion, and pain have been experienced by others and are normal and discover ways to help themselves through this difficult time -- highly recommended.

Parents:

Between Love & Hate by Lois Gold; Plenum Press, 1992

Civilized divorce: new roles and new rules; emotions of ending marriage; healing; helping children; parenting plans; handling conflict; difficult spouses.

 

Caught in the Middle by Carla B. Garrity & Mitchell A. Baris; Lexington Books, 1994

Protecting children of high conflict divorce. Includes: Why Work it Out?; Normal vs. Conflict Visitation; Identifying Parental Alienation; Parenting Plans for High-Conflict Divorce -- highly recommended.

Children of Divorce by Mitchell A. Baris & Carla B. Garrity; Blue Ridge Printing, 1988

Suggested responses to child's refusal to be with a parent; reactions of 'I'm Abandoned' or 'I'm Responsible' or 'I'm Not Fitting In' or I't's All Your Fault' or 'I'm Dropping Out'; child wants to change schedule. Addresses different rules; role of step-parents; long-distance parent -- highly recommended.

The Children's Book by Marilyn S. Erickson & Stephen Erickson; CPI Publishing, 1992

Information about children in one workbook to be exchanged between parents when children go from one home to the other. Helps keep children out of the middle of communication between parents.

 

Divorced Dad Dilemma by Gerald S. Mayer; Desert City Press, 1994

Men's responses to divorce, what impacts men's relationships with their children. Suggestions on staying connected with their children; coparenting with a former wife; being a man and providing nurturance, grieving well and letting go, being strong and offering tenderness -- highly recommended.

 

Fighting Fair for Families by Fran Schmidt & Alice Friedman; Peace Education Foundation, 1989

Offers tools to handle conflict like a 'pro' and create a more loving and caring environmnet for you and your family. Cartoon illustrations -- highly recommended.

 

For the Sake of the Children by Kris Kline & Stephen Pew; Prima Publishing, 1992

Communicating without condemning; breaking old habits; peaceful attendance at childrens' activities; avoiding pressure to start the old fight again; children speak out about their need to love both parents; recognizing when outside guidanceis needed. Entertaining and insightful!

 

Healthy Divorce by Craig Everett & Sandra V. Everett; Jossey-Bass, 1994

How to recognize and deal with different stages of divorce process; coping with anger, grief, and abandonment; mediation; co-parenting after divorce; and planning a blended family.

 

Helping Children Cope with Divorce by Edward Teyber; Lexington Books, 1992

Putting childrent first; children's fears of abandonment, responsibility for the breakup, and reconciliation fantasies; parental conflict and cooperation; adverse consequences when father is unavailable; child-rearing after divorce; forming new family relationships in step-families -- highly recommended.

 

Men on Divorce--Conversations with Ex-Husbands by Ellie Wymard; Hay House, 1994

Extensive interviews with 45 divorced men. Difficulties with part-time parenting, sharing family friends, confortable incompatibility, broken lives, and healing.

Mom's House, Dad's House by Isolina Ricci; Collier Books, 1980

Focuses on needs of children and 2 homes with no fighting; crisis periods; emotions; relating with other parent; children's fears; parents' needs & styles; when there is no other parent; long-distance parenting.

 

Parents are Forever by Shirley Thomas; Springboard Publications, 1995

Easy to use, to-the-point guide to help children avoid terrible and unnecessary pain. How to solve common problems, divide parenting time, talk to children, deal with anger, avoid blame, and put child's needs first.

 

Second Chances by Judith Wallerstein & Sandra Blakeslee; Ticknor & Fields, 1989

Easy to read comprehensive account of the long-term emotional, economic, and psychological effects of divorce; differences between children who adjust well to divorce and children who have ongoing difficulty.

Vicki Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents by Vicki Lansky; Signet, 1989

Practical, easy-to-understand, and on-target. Age-specific reactions of children and how to respond; 'divorce speak;' shared parenting, keeping ex-spouses from being ex-parents; long-distance parenting.